(First written Jul 23 2026, X)

I grew up in England where Football or as my American friends call it Soccer is easily the most popular sport, almost every kid in England grows up playing it through school, watching it and dreaming big. In England it is woven into the fabric of the culture- if you didn't like Football you were the “Weird” kid or an outcast. Well I was an outcast that loved Football. I remember the day I discovered the sport, a lot of my friends were Spurs fans, they were a sizable team and had a decent following where I grew up. I went home and told my Dad my decision and it was him that introduced me to Aston Villa and even better we had a family member that had played in the first ever Aston Villa side in 1874 (true story), my Dad showed me some hand written records from the first two seasons of the club and that was it for me I was hooked. I remember school in England, all we wanted to do was play Football and at every chance we got their was a ball at our feet, it did not matter where we were or even the type of ball as long as we could kick it and it was round- yes I even remember games as a kid with a golf-ball. Everybody played, everybody involved. When we all got to high school, the love of the game intensified, at that age kids start taking the game seriously and spots on high school teams were ultra competitive- coaches were usually PE teachers who's only goal was to humiliate a rival school's teacher- so they only wanted the best. Well lets just say, I was nowhere near the best. This posed a problem for me as I loved the Sport but I just was not good enough, I could read the game and understand the theory behind it but I seemed to have two right feet- I am left footed. Now I grew up all through school with my best friend James Hayes- the best friend I could have asked for, he had my back through thick and thin and also had the good sense to be a massive Villa fan. Well he rarely made the team either, we both played the odd game here and there, but we were far from regulars. In fact I remember one game where I was that desperate to play I volunteered to play Goalie as nobody was available; they reluctantly agreed and I let in Seven- I guess the point is we would do anything to play. So we came up with the great idea to ask our school to setup a B team, a team for us as we were sure other schools kids were facing the same issue. It worked. I remember to this day playing a disabled school, I do not remember the name but our school was based in Alcester, if anybody reads this and can help me out I would be grateful. Well any way I remember playing them and it ended 4-4, a special day for both teams and everyone got to play- I loved the sport. I played all through school but as an adult I discovered Beer and watching the game down the pub and that is when it started to go down hill for me.

By my mid twenties I still loved the game, never missed a Villa game or England game if I could avoid it but it was paired with Alcohol and junk food- not a great combination, I was doing myself no favors. I spent a lot of my twenties off my face drunk, I do not remember a lot of it. Exercise was not a priority for me and I fell into a slump- this is where my mental health problems began. I never visited a Doctor through fear as an adult in England unless I felt I was dying and please bear in mind that this is essentially free there. I was messing my life up and then I met an American who gave me a different outlook on life and truly a reason to live. The hard decision was made to uproot from everything I knew in England and move Stateside to be with her, the truth though is hard to hear- I was broken, just couldn't admit it. When everything was finalized for me to start a new life in the United States I felt relief, a fresh start and a chance to actually make something of myself and have family. I was scared, the United States is huge and can be very scary to a foreigner, I did not know what to expect- sometimes I still feel that way but in this country anything can be achieved. I began a new life for myself and I tried to reinvent myself- I became a horror writer and I was decent- the problem was that I was a little younger late twenties and I let my mental health issues control who I was and I lacked the discipline to follow through on anything, I lost my self worth. I was good but lacked discipline, smoking thirty cigarettes a day and cramming my fat face with junk food- better access in America. It is no surprise that on the way back from Ohio one day my foot went numb, my wife forced me to the Doctors and it turned out to be diabetes- the beginning of my true decline. When I first came to the United States I wanted to give something back, I was not allowed to work but I was allowed to volunteer as much as I wanted and as much as through life I have made some very poor decisions I still wanted to play by the rules of the country I was residing in. My way to give back to the community that took me in was to become a volunteer coach for kids at a recreational level- I dreamed of passing my knowledge of the sport I loved to the youth of America and maybe one day I could start some ones journey to achieve something I never could- the highest level of the game. The games, the practices, I loved every minute of it, I was able to share what I had learned coming from another culture and I felt as though I was making a positive contribution to society. The issue, I was still doing the majority of my bad habits, I was working in fast food as a manager and I was eating what I made everyday, exercise was still not a priority and I did not know it yet but I was killing myself slowly. A short while after coming to the United States I found out that my best friend had took his own life and I was on the other side of the world- helpless to do anything for a man I would have died for, a brother- we had drifted apart but some bonds are never broken. I miss him all of the time and I still think about him to this day and this is a massive trigger to my depression- even though I was happy enough with where I was I have never been fully content, over the years I slipped further into a hole. I continued my bad habits and right around the pandemic I was hospitalized with potential COVID, my wife had to rush me to the hospital, I could not breathe and I could have died that night. A few weeks later I lost all feeling in my foot, it started as pins and needles in the store, it never went away- whatever Virus hospitalized me had activated what was already eating away at me and now I had full blown Neuropathy, and the worst part- I feel as though it was my fault, I had bought this all on myself by poor choices. I had lost most of the use of my right foot, my driving foot and took nine months to drive again. At times I can barely walk and sometimes I fall. It is pain all the time, I had to walk away from fast food as it was making my symptoms worse- so now I found myself jobless in a brutal economic climate- I do not say this for sympathy. The worse things got, the worse my depression, the worse my depression the more I would miss meds or eat the wrong stuff and I sunk further down. In the end a Doctor has prescribed a GLP 1 to save my life and it worked but now my needle phobia makes that hard. I take a lot of pills to live and some of them mess with my memory and cognitive ability, I self medicate with Marijuana for the pain as it is legal here- but that also messes with my mind and still I kept on sinking to this point, till it felt like I had nothing left but I did it to myself and none of this is easy to write or hear. This is me, raw, unedited and unfiltered- the truth.

When I was a kid I had it all, I may not have been the most athletic- in fact probably never was but I had intelligence, people always told me that. In school I was always 2nd in the annual Poetry recital- every year Leon Hughes a lad who also sadly passed and was probably the most intelligent kid in the school, always won. I could never beat him and I never did but I did have intelligence. I could have had the world, always had a flair for language and the written word and could have gone far and been anything I wanted if I simply applied myself. I did not I lacked discipline. When I started at college on my associates degree in Michigan I got into PTK an international honor society where I did five classes and worked a 50hr a week job and still got a 4.0 in each class- I was very academic and my brain was certainly firing on all cylinders. Now I take to many meds and nothing comes naturally, I am very much having to learn a lot of things again, especially when it comes back to memory- my brain has been through to much trauma physically and mentally. I also now suffer with blackouts and I never saw life going this way. To make matters worse we were about to try and relocate to Toledo Ohio, we had money saved and then my wife got a breast cancer diagnosis- she had surgery and radiation and is all clear but it once again threw everything up in the air. At the height of all this my own depression spiked again and I thought of ending it all, I was in a dark place and no direction. I went through a phase of writing politics, I badly wanted to be a citizen and I started to write a lot of articles about America- yet every time I did I was harshly reminded I was not American, I was berated online and for the first time since I arrived here, after fifteen years, I felt like I didn't belong. I had been sucked into politics and it was to dark of a world and the more I wrote the worse my depression became. Then along came a tradition, something I had watched many times, something familiar through all of the darkness- the FIFA World Cup.

As I said I am currently unemployed so for me this World Cup was a relief, I had something to occupy my time and the best part it was right here in the US and I had a lot of time for watching games- I became invested I would tune in for almost every game, it did not matter the nation- I lived in that moment. I saw the American crowds, the stadiums, the party atmosphere and I was mesmerized. I was still not feeling like I belonged anywhere. Lived in the USA but long removed from England- I followed both nations like a hawk and I was devastated when the US went out to Belgium- I saw the potential of US soccer in that moment- a nation behind a team and how glorious it would be if they could one day lift the cup. I formed opinions, I took to online and I made connections. We disagreed, berated each other, we laughed, joked and cried but through all of that it gave me a reason to live, a connection and a community and that is why I am still here. Through all of the chaos of what was the 2026 World Cup I found my answers, what I was meant to do- I have always wanted to write but the answer was Soccer. Like I said I am not back to my best or anything close, some stuff will take a lot of work but with dedication I can kick down doors, get to my best and make something of this. I will make mistakes but once again the world is at my feet and I have some belief back. So what's next?

For me the goal is simple, to use Soccer to highlight the mistakes I made as a young man to ensure that the youth do not develop the habits I did and have a positive impact on the future of the country- our kids, with a combination of promoting exercise and good nutrition. To promote the sport of Soccer, a sport I love in a country I love so that many generations can enjoy the sport and garner a better understanding of the benefits and competitive nature of it. To be involved in promoting the sport with the goal of improving the national setup because I believe the USA could become great at this sport. But most importantly to me to leave a legacy and become part of a community because community is what this country is all about- that is one thing the World Cup clearly showed us. Soccer brought us together but lets continue that vibe long after the tournament is done. I am still planning a move to Ohio and have already booked tickets to my first Columbus Crew game but there is a lot more to come from me in this space. Sorry for rambling but some things need to be said, I hope you join me on this journey, for me this is just the beginning- my fire is back.